Saturday, September 20, 2014

Sudden U-turn

"While I am good, some of the times. God is good. All the time."

My career as a geologist just took a sudden turn around. For a long time, even before I took the board exam, even before I graduated in college, I always wanted to work for the energy sector, in the petroleum industry exactly. Though this was not really possible, because I didn't graduate from an Ivy League School, I can see myself working in the petroleum industry in the near future. (Amen!) 

So when I got hired in the geothermal industry, with a company being the second largest geothermal steam producer in the world, I was happy, very happy. I can see myself going ahead, in a different path, in a different career, than any of my colleagues. I was the first geology graduate from our school to ever work in that company, the largest geothermal producer in the Philippines.

But I failed, I felt that I wasn't smart enough. I had issues with a few of them. They belittled me, and I let them. I thought I was being kind and patient, I should have fought back and argued heads on. I should have... But I knew it was not fair... for my part... I knew something was wrong... Some of them, they didn't really want me to be a part of their team... I tried my best... But I felt I can no longer move forward and excel with those people hanging around me... I resigned...

Someone told me that it is okay to be silent, and be kind, and forgive other people, and let minimal issues pass by. But when I did this, things didn't go well. When you try to let other people look down on you, and let them say things they shouldn't say in the first place, you lose your self-esteem. You lose your brilliance. You lose everything...

I just wanted to be a better person. Pretended I didn't hear anything insulting... I used to fight back... But I didn't, this time. None of the things I did brought me goodness... Life is unfair.

I learned that the world is wicked. And as long as we work with wicked people, and try to be kind, they will push us down. This is the norm of the corporate world.

The next time I get a chance to work with large companies. I know what to do.

Now, I have another job. The people here are very nice to work with. Moreover, I have received another job offering, hoping that this one will move on to a contract signing. This one really has a significant salary increase. I hope that HE will give this to me.

While I am good, some of the times.

God is good. All the time.