Thursday, June 24, 2010

You are not Authors!

"Do not judge a book by its cover because you are not authors and even if you are, you still have no rights"

People always have this kind of cannot-be-cured disease within them since the day they were born, and I have to admit that even me has this kind of ill attitude. However, I have learned my lesson a long time ago so me getting involved in scenarios like this is very minimal.

I am just so sad when people close to me or was a part of me is being back-stabbed by their own friends, and my friends too. They would say things that would really make my temper to start getting haywire.

They would say like this or like that and eventually, as I hear what they are saying, I am starting to feel really really bad. Because they are talking about someone who was so close to me.

I know that it is okay to listen to your friends sometimes but not this time. I have known this person for a couple of months and I know that everything about her, everything she does, is just the way she is. She's just friendly and of course, alluring that is why she has male friends that would always stick to her.

But the way they judge her is just too bad. I already have heard bad things about her before we met but all of those ain't just real. It's the opposite of what she is. The  thing is, she just act childish and sweet. And it's not her fault of many guys would run after her or befriend her.

She is kind. She is sweet. She is nice. She is approachable. She is friendly. She is childish. She is religious. She is God fearing. She is caring and loving. She is beautiful and it's not her fault.

I know all about her because she never made me feel bitter and unloved. She was faithful to me. She never did anything that would make me feel bad about her.

Because every time we have fights, IT IS ALWAYS MY FAULT and she would just stay patient and remain silent.

I just feel sooooooooooo bad about it. It makes me feel terrible when there are people who act like AUTHORS!..STOP IT!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Which is which? -- which song is better?

I have been listening to all kinds of music lately and I have realized that all of them really have great meanings. I mean, the song must have been created because of the weariness and sadness felt by the writer.

I always believe that love songs are created due to intense emotion felt by the writer, whether he is happy or sad.
Songs that say "letting go" is the best choice when someone wants to go wild and free from a certain relationship that no longer has a chance of moving onwards.

Songs that say "hold on because we need to stay tight in this test" are also one of the typical songs that I hear from my playlist.

I mean, I did not really download the songs intentionally since I just copied those songs from the PC. But hell it is great!
I am really confused with the songs because at the middle part there would be lyrics like "just let go" and eventually, at the ending part, the writer seems to hope for that love to come back and write "hold on" so that they can work it out.

However, there are also songs that would really show the hurts of the writer. Though it is just a song, maybe, just maybe, the words he wrote in it are real. It came from the what we so called heart. Maybe he was hurt and wrote something and gave it a tune.

But one thing I can say is that, songs are instant remedies to sadness.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I miss you beside me --- crap!

Every late at night, the time I fall asleep, and every morning, the time I see the yellowish setting of the sun, I hate to admit this -- I cry a tear because I miss you.

 There is nothing wrong if I admit that I miss you, right? After all, you are still my non-legal wife. I just want to make use of the time that I have to tell you how much you mean to me.

Yes, you are the only reason why I want to go to school everyday. Because I want to see you, I want to witness your ever glowing smile and be with you all day, everyday.

I want to hear your childish voice. Because I know that it's your only way of being sweet to me. You are like an angel to me. You are kind and nice and all about you is wonderful.

I am crazy about you because I have no reasons to stay calm-minded when there is a fact that you are rocking my world.

You are my home, my only home amid the complex life I have.

You said that you will never leave me, and I trusted you.

I gave all my trust to you because I was too confident that you will never break your promise.

I was too dependent with my happiness to you.

And now, everything has turned the wrong way.

Sooner or later you will going to leave me, and I don't give a damn.

I can live by my own, but I want to spend my life with you.

I need you not because I love you but because you are the only one I have who promised me to take care of me until I die.

You are my home. I hope you understand that.
Let us work this out. Let us give ourselves another try.

When a Promise turns to be a BIG LIE

Sometimes, people tend to forget the things you shared together in the past. That giving all your soul is not enough. That giving all your efforts is not enough. That giving all your time is not enough. That giving all things that you can give is not enough. That giving all of what YOU are is not enough. The latter would be you ending up alone and empty-handed.

This is a fact. Memories in the past that was supposed to last an ever after have eventually landed to a temporary end, or perhaps just "end". People are programmed to have memory gap, so to speak. They just learned to throw things like a trash when they no longer feel like holding it anymore.

Sometimes, people should learn to be matured enough and be considerate enough when things get rough. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to speak out what you want to say and not ask for time which will just worsen things up.

Sometimes, people should learn how to handle with care the ones they promised to be loved and treasured. Sometimes, a promise should not be forgotten by the change of time, rather to be kept when things turn topsy-turvy. That is why it's called PROMISE, to remind us that "letting go" should never be an option.

When you say "don't let go of me", then don't act like you want to run away. Take note, hell I care if you run 100 kilometers per hour. I won't run after you. I am just reminding you because you asked me before that I should not let you go, no matter what happens.

 I am not superman, even superman is not numb of pain. I am imperfect, but I am not stupid enough to act like a blood sucker. I will never run after you because I am not that cheap.

Yes, you are my crush. I am obsessed with you. You are my girlfriend who now showed a cold shoulder on me. But I won't beg for you to love me back again. After all, I never care for you the time that you were still my crush.

But I admit, YOU BECAME MY WORLD when you became my non-legal wife. You became the river of my happiness and the source of my will to change my negative perceptions of life. I loved you like I never knew love at all.

But damn!, I want to work this out. We should work this out. I will do everything to bring you back because I promised you something.

I am not a promise breaker. I will be sweet, romantic, and patient until you say this is over. At least, I gave everything I can for you. I am real to you. I am NOT A LIAR!.

You are not to be blamed. Maybe. life just needs to go on like this.But there is still time. Come back because I'm still waiting.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Purple Obsession

“I have more than 200 pictures of her, and she doesn’t know anything about it. I tried to be discreet and ignored her as much as possible but it didn’t last long because we both knew that we feel the same way”

It was a sizzling hot late afternoon. I was too exhausted while queuing in a very long line, a usual scenario in this university during every enrolment, along with other hundreds of students hoping that we can still finish one-half of the five-part enrolment procedure. I was still an incoming freshman student then, and everything around me is new, including the very tiring enrolment process that I didn’t experience since first grade.

After a couple of minutes of standing still like a Robocop, I was able to sit down and relax a bit while waiting for my turn to pay the miscellaneous fees. I looked outside the window and watched the worm-like falling of lines of the students that almost consumed the university pathways. I felt pity to those people who were falling in very long lines under the extreme heat of the sun. How I wish the high–ranking officials of this university could do something about it. But I rather pity myself more because I’m still on the first part of being enrolled and sooner or later, the subjects that I’ll going to take will be closed.

Finally, it was my turn. After how many hours of standing I can now pay the miscellaneous fees. I draw a 500-peso bill from my wallet and gave it to the woman who was managing the fees for the college and FUPTA fund. While I was waiting for my change, I sneak a look at a pleasant looking young lady just right on the doorstep leaning on the wall while an older woman who accompanied her talked to a university faculty who was managing that part of the enrolment.

I never have seen her before since the time I entered the walls of this institution. But one thing is for sure, undoubtedly, she caught my attention unswervingly at first sight. She was just so simple, and her looks is amazingly alluring. I was engrossed by her pleasant-looking face and her demure personality.

That was the first time I first laid my eyes on her and that was unforgettable. And from that moment up to the next days, I have got an ultimate crush on her and every time I see her in the campus I would surely stop and secretly look at her noting that my cheeks would turn hot-pepper-red if she would look back at me, at very rare times.

Months have passed and many things changed so as my feelings for her. My little crush for her turned into tremendous obsession. Good thing that we were classmates in my English subject this school year 2010-2011, 2nd semester. I would secretly sneak a look at her every time we were heading our way down the stairs after dismissal. There are times that she caught me looking at her but I would just ignore her, trying not to be too obvious.

I am obsessed with her. I have more than 200 pictures of her, but she doesn’t know anything about it. I tried to be discreet and ignored her as much as possible, but it didn’t last long. Because finally, the dream that once I believed to only happen in my imagination has turned into reality.

I asked her to go with me on one cloudy afternoon. The skies were dark and weary as if it will going to rain. I looked at her with love and everything around us was like in slow motion. I did not want that day to end ─ I didn’t want the clock to move its long arm ─I wanted that moment to have a never ending.

The moon came anchoring the path we walked. She stunned the darkness of the night, and stars envy her beauty─ her simplicity and demure personality are the ones that made me adore her most. The rain fell down and our faces were covered with raindrops. I shoved a hanky from her side pocket and wiped her face so gently, as she did the same thing to me. I wanted to touch her white skin and warm myself in her arms.
I can’t look at her straight because every time I do, it makes me want to kiss her ─ her lips were tempting me and I was shaking not because I was cold but because my heart was beating too fast.

Her eyes were magical enough to cease every moment. I held her hands as we looked in each other’s eyes. No doubt I was in love and this was no ordinary love ─ this was different and was way beyond I can Imagine. My nose was so close to her breath. Our faces were almost stuck together and I can hardly breathe.

“I want to marry you someday. I mean, I like you a lot. I mean, I want to be with you and I will love you even if you will have white hairs and arthritis” I was catching for air while these words came out from my mouth. She giggled and eventually smiled at me. I paused for a while because I thought all the things I was saying would freak her out. Her lips came closer and closer next to mine.

I froze and I can’t move while my face was turning red. I did not breathe for seconds. She did not utter a word. She just stared at me as if there was something wrong with my face. When I thought all went topsy-turvy and when I thought my fairy tale will turn into a terrible nightmare, she kissed me.

“I am not fond of believing that relationships will last for eternity, it is vague. But I know that ours is different, this is true love and whenever alteration finds–whether you’ll have white hair or you’ll be more “tambok” nor you’ll have arthritis, my feelings for you will never change.”